


Daddy Issues

by doqueensoo



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Age Difference, Age Swap, Bottom Do Kyungsoo | D.O, Chubby Kyungsoo (mentioned/implied), Daddy Issues, Graphic Description, Homophobic Language, M/M, Smut, Top Kim Jongin | Kai
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-09
Updated: 2017-11-09
Packaged: 2019-01-31 05:45:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,325
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12675600
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/doqueensoo/pseuds/doqueensoo
Summary: A hunger for a daddy is wholly natural, and Kyungsoo sates his hunger with Jongin.





	Daddy Issues

**Author's Note:**

> Lyrics are taken from The Neighborhood – Daddy Issues.
> 
> Enjoy :)

**_I tried to write your name in the rain._ **

**_But the rain never came._ **

 

 

Throughout the years Kyungsoo’s father has always been unfair towards him. The man always favors his older brother; Seungsoo, more. Most of the time he makes Kyungsoo feels inadequate about himself, makes him feel unworthy. In any other time the man is absence from his life, too busy with his works.

 

Kyungsoo has always been a _‘cry baby’—_ someone who’s too _‘soft’_ or too _‘weak’_ according to his father. A rock hard shell is eventually formed to conceal the delicate and fragile sides of him. He becomes cold and distant, no longer act needy and clingy towards his loved ones in public. He becomes very good at hiding those parts of him.

 

People misjudge his characters, but it’s alright. It’s better to be misunderstood than to be hurt.

 

The distance he has put between his father and himself has caused him to become closer with his mother instead. His childhood memories are full of them cooking and cleaning the house together, full of her teaching him how to knit and sew, of her cuddling him right after his father complained about him not being able to rank _‘at least the fifth’_ in yearly school’s sport event. _“So very unlike his brother,”_ his father would always say.

 

He only dares to show the vulnerable side of him to his mother because like most mothers in the world; she loves him unconditionally. 

 

But like most children, Kyungsoo too, needs a father’s love. The hunger keeps growing, becoming bigger, gnawing at his inside. Flames of jealousy consume him whenever his father praises his brother—never him, while disappointment and longingness wrap him up tightly whenever his father once again bails on him, even after pretty promises have been said between them.

 

He wishes someone strong, powerful and authoritative just like his father would come to him—come for him, would cradle him into a warm embrace and gives him the comfort, love, and validation he secretly craves.

 

Someone who could be his hero.

 

 

…

 

 

**_You ask me what I'm thinking about._ **

**_I tell you that I'm thinking about._ **

 

 

Kyungsoo is seventeen when he notices there’s a pattern in the way he forms relationship with others; specifically with boys.

 

Due to his appearance; smaller and shorter than the average Korean males, eyes doe, lips pouty and baby cheeks still intact, most people tend to coddle him. Female teachers dote on him akin to how mothers would do to their child while male teachers are less strict towards him. Other male students get a smack on the back of their heads when they break the rules but Kyungsoo has only ever received stern warnings accompanied with hard glares.

 

His female friends act as if they’re his older sisters, always overprotective and sometimes downright annoying with their excessive usage of the word cute. His male friends are quite similar but they often tease him a lot because apparently _“Kyungsoo’s hit doesn’t hurt.”_

 

And this is where things are a bit… different for Kyungsoo. He prefers the attention from his male peers instead of from females, especially from the boys who have larger physique than him.

 

Satisfaction would surge through his veins when boys praise him, calls him cute nicknames that he would never admit to enjoy hearing, when boys crowd on him; teasing him, poking or pinching his ‘squishy cheeks’ (as they have often called it), hugging him, placing him on their laps, or just simply circling their gangly upper limbs around his narrow shoulders.

                                                               

A pale pink blush would suffuse on his cheeks when certain boys—boys who are tall and handsome—speak a little too close to him. The pink would turn rosy when those boys change their clothes in front of him—showing off their growing, sweating body after P.E is over, making him feel hot and bothered.  

 

He can’t really distinguish whether it’s envy or admiration that he feels, because at the same time he also wishes for his body to be like theirs. But then he remembers how much he hates sweating and working out in general, and with that in mind his wishes disappear into thin air.

 

Kyungsoo realizes he’s gay a week before he turns eighteen.

 

 

…

 

 

**_Go ahead and cry little boy._ **

**_Nobody does it like you do._ **

 

 

When his father finds out about his sexual orientation, the man is furious. Lots of hurtful words are spat out and Kyungsoo’s nails dig into his palms as he listens quietly.

 

He tries very hard to hold it in, to bear the wounds his father’s words have caused, but he fails. He is not strong enough, he has never been. Tears start to well up in his eyes before they eventually fall in drizzle. Little sniffles are torn out of his throat, filling the living room and sending his father out of the house. He’s still a cry baby despite how hard he has pretended to be not.

 

His brother stands awkwardly at the corner of the room, not knowing what to say. Kyungsoo has never cried in front of anyone after he turned ten, so a crying eighteen years old Kyungsoo is quite a shock for the Do’s eldest son. 

 

Kyungsoo calms down in his mother’s embrace, the woman hasn’t said anything, only rubs soothing circles on his back. He doesn’t need to hear anything from her, he knows she accepts him for who he is. His mother loves him very much, he knows that, unlike his father—whom he’s not sure whether the man at least cares about his wellbeing or not.

 

His relationship with his father worsens after that day.

 

Each day the hunger grows bigger, intensifies and swallows him up as whole. Without him knowing his lust for a fatherly figure becomes stronger. 

 

 

…

 

 

**_Tell me something that I'll forget._ **

**_And you might have to tell me again._ **

 

Kyungsoo meets Jongin in summer.

 

No, Kyungsoo meets Jongin _again_ in summer _._

 

He has known the man ever since he was a child. Jongin used to be an intern who worked under Kyungsoo’s father and the young man often went to the Do’s house for dinner every Friday. His father used to love boasting about Jongin because of his hard work and skills, and how much the man reminded him of his younger self. Kyungsoo is sure, just like Seungsoo, Jongin fits his father’s ideal criteria of a filial son—something that he’s not.

 

Something that he’s never going to be.

 

“You’ve really grown up.” Jongin says, brows up in amazement. It’s a little bit amusing, Kyungsoo notes. It’s as if it’s really that surprising for him to see a teenage version of Kyungsoo instead of little Kyungsoo after a decade missing from the boy’s life.

 

“I’m almost nineteen now.” Kyungsoo informs him with a cheery smile, eyes not so discreetly checking Jongin’s out.

 

He is even more handsome than Kyungsoo remembers; skin sun kissed, jaws sharp, shoulders broad, biceps bulging out threatening to rip the white dress shirt that’s a bit too tight on him. There are soft lines near the edge of his eyes. Dark stubble is visible above his lips and on his chin. Even though Jongin isn’t that old, Kyungsoo has to admit the man has aged like a fine wine.

 

“Wow. I can’t believe it has been ten years.”

 

“Yeah.” Kyungsoo smiles. He can’t believe he would meet the man again after ten years not seeing each other, in groceries store out of all places.

 

Thanks to his short arms, he was having a difficulty to reach a box of cereal on the top shelf. Jongin who had been only a passerby offered him a help—which of course, he gratefully accepted. Before Kyungsoo could take the cereal box from Jongin’s hand, the latter was gaping at him before asking; _“You’re Do Minjoon’s son, right?”_

 

“I’m surprised you could recognize me.”

 

“Well… you haven’t changed much.” Jongin crinkles his eyes, a charming smile blooms on his face and Kyungsoo blushes. The older man is attractive. “How’s your old man doing?”

 

“He’s fine.” Kyungsoo answers shortly, not really in the mood to talk about his father who has been giving him a cold shoulder ever since he came out. He shifts on his feet, hoping Jongin wouldn’t continue the subject. Unfortunately for him, Jongin is sharp enough to notice it.

 

“Is something troubling you?” Jongin asks. His voice is full of concern and Kyungsoo is torn whether he should hate the man for pointing out his discomfort or feel touched because the man cares enough to ask about his well-beings. Most male adults won’t give two shits about teenage angst.

 

“I know we’re basically strangers now but you used to cling on me when you were little.” He laughs a little, reminiscing. Kyungsoo blushes, he still remembers that as well. He often asked Jongin to watch sports anime together.

 

“You can tell me anything.” Jongin tells him gently and Kyungsoo’s hard shells begin to crack. “Perhaps it would make you feel better after talking about it. Of course, you don’t have to do it if you’re not comfortable.”

 

Kyungsoo weights his options. Jongin is right about them being basically strangers despite knowing each other ten years ago, but the older man looks genuinely cares and it weakens Kyungsoo’s stance.

 

He inhales deeply as his sweaty hands ball into tiny fists. “I’m gay.”

 

“Huh?”

 

“I’m gay and my dad hates me because of it.”

 

 

.

.

.

 

 

“I’m sorry to hear that.” Jongin says after Kyungsoo finishes his story.

 

“It’s fine. You don’t have to.”

 

Both of them are sitting in a small café—the place is cozy and not crowded. Apparently Jongin is a regular customer because the café is close to his workplace. After their accidental encounter in the Lotte Mart’s aisle dedicated for milk and cereals, Jongin took Kyungsoo out, thinking it is better to talk about private matter in a secluded place. The older man even paid for his groceries.

 

“Still, I wish your father weren’t like that…” Jongin sighs. “I expected more from Minjoon-hyung. He usually sounds so wise.” He notices the quizzical looks on Kyungsoo’s face and then laughs a little. “We still stay in contact. After I finished my internship he helped me to get a position in the company I’m currently working at.”

 

“Why you never visit our house after that?” Kyungsoo regrets for asking after Jongin sends him an amused look. He guesses he has sounded too needy for the older man.

 

“I was relocated to Busan three weeks after I started the job. Now the company wants me here again.”  Kyungsoo takes a spoon of the frozen mango yogurt he has ordered as Jongin continues. “My apartment is only few blocks from your house…” The older man informs before he halts his sentence. Kyungsoo notices the slight hesitation in his dark brown eyes.

 

“You can come over if you want.” Jongin says in hushed voice, as if he’s currently whispering a secret. The words sound too illicit to be a mere invitation, and maybe Kyungsoo’s imagining things, but he sees Jongin’s lips curl up into a smirk at the last syllable.

 

Kyungsoo nods whilst mumbling out an; “okay” _._ Unsure of what else to say, he stays silent as Jongin takes a sip of his chamomile tea. After putting the cup on the saucer, the older fetches out his phone—part of the newest series from an expensive brand—and hands it to Kyungsoo. “Give me your number, please?”

 

Even though it is said like a plea, it sounds more like a command to Kyungsoo’s ears—a command that he cannot refuse, and so he takes the phone from Jongin’s hand.

 

He can feel his cheeks turn warmer when their hands brush, and at that moment he notices how big Jongin’s hands are compared to his. His fingers are long, unlike his own short and stubby ones. There’s a golden watch circling his left wrist, complimenting his golden skin perfectly.

 

Few minutes later—after Kyungsoo has typed his number in Jongin’s contact and returned the phone back to its owner—his own phone rings. There’s a new message; a short simple _“Hi”_ that’s obviously from the man in front of him. Kyungsoo immediately saves the number under the name; **_Jongin-hyung_** _._

 

He’s glad the older man is back within his arm’s reach now. Jongin used to be one of his favorites people. The man spoiled him a lot and was very genuine with his interactions even though Kyungsoo was just a kid. With Jongin, Friday nights used to feel better than Sunday mornings for Kyungsoo.

 

They spend another thirty minutes together, talking and laughing. Jongin is adamant in catching up about everything he has missed about Kyungsoo and Kyungsoo is more than glad to tell the older about everything he has gone through. From his first stage performance where he sang with a classmate named Hyunsik during his first year of high school, how nervous he was at that time, to his first dating experience with a senior; Chanyeol, which didn’t end up well because the guy was just too immature.

 

“All he ever wanted to do was either smoking weed or playing video games. He'd never want to leave the house.” Kyungsoo scowls in distaste whilst Jongin cackles like the younger has told him the funnies joke in century.

 

Talking to Jongin feels natural, nostalgic, and most importantly; safe.

 

Kyungsoo doesn’t have to worry about his choice of words—he’s aware he’s not good with them, and his father has never ceased to remind him about that which has molded him to become quieter—he doesn’t have to worry the other is not listening, because Jongin is. He listens tentatively to whatever Kyungsoo’s blabbering about. All of the older man’s attention is on him and it makes his heart swells with satisfaction. Jongin’s presence is enough to shed the cold, reserved attitude he’s been wearing as armor for years to protect himself.  

 

When they part, Jongin offers him a ride and Kyungsoo once again, cannot refuse.

 

Jongin opens the car door for him and even helps him putting on seatbelt—an action that flusters Kyungsoo, turning his face to beet red and activating a thousand butterflies in his tummy. When they arrive in front of Kyungsoo’s house—after Jongin declines Kyungsoo’s invitation to stop by with a reason; _‘there are still stuffs I need to unpack’_ , and before Kyungsoo steps out of the car—the older man ruffles his hair.

 

“You can talk about everything to me.” Jongin’s large palm is still on top of his head, long fingers combing his hair delicately. Kyungsoo’s heart beats faster than usual. “I’ll always be there for you.” He promises with a gentle smile that melts Kyungsoo’s inside. “After all, I’m still your ‘cool Jongin-hyung’, am I not?”

 

Kyungsoo nods whilst unconsciously tucks his lower lip under his front teeth. A habit he does whenever he’s embarrassed but also giddy at the same time. It makes him happy that Jongin still remembers the compliment he often preached out about the older. Though, his giddiness turns into something else when he catches Jongin’s eyes are focusing on his lips.

 

“Thank you, hyung.” Kyungsoo decides to settle with just that, afraid he’ll say the wrong things, things that aren’t supposed to be said. The things that have been swarming in his mind for the past minutes he’s spent with Jongin.

 

Jongin’s eyes snap back to his, leaving his lips in a speed of light. “Anything for you.” The words bleed out of the older man’s tongue without difficulty, creating sparks of flame inside the younger’s belly.

 

Kyungsoo’s getting hungrier.

 

That night, before he goes to sleep, he texts Jongin for the first time.

 

To: **Jongin-hyung**  
_Thank you for today, hyung_  
_Good night ^^_  
(sent 10.33 PM)

From: **Jongin-hyung**  
_Likewise_  
_Have a good night, Soo-ah  
_ (received 10.35 PM)

 _Dream of me._  
(received 10.36 PM)

 

Kyungsoo’s heart stutters at the nickname Jongin has just given him. _Soo-ah._

 

It’s short. It’s unique, no one has ever called him that before. It makes him feel adored by the older man.

 

To: **Jongin-hyung**  
_You too, dream of me_  
(sent 10.38 PM)

From: **Jongin-hyung**  
_I definitely will  
_ (received 10.38 PM)

 

Kyungsoo wonders what kind of dream Jongin will be having about him.

…

 

 

**_And if you were my little boy._ **

**_I'd do whatever I could do._ **

****

Kyungsoo visits Jongin for the first time two weeks later, right after he just had a massive row with his father. There’s raining storm outside yet he pays no heed to the bad weather, uncaring if he’s soaking himself in the rain as he paddles his bike towards Jongin’s place. He needs to get away from his father, needs to get out from the house, needs to see Jongin.

 

He needs Jongin.

 

The cold rain erases the trace of hot tears he has let out several minutes prior. His father was in worse mood than usual nights, and of course, he took it out on Kyungsoo during dinner, as usual. The man has become meaner each day, his words have turned harsher and sharper—perhaps it’s because Kyungsoo is stubborn with his stance, with his sexuality, with his decision; he won’t change into someone he is not just for the sake of his father’s pride. That night, his father called him ‘faggot’ for the first time.

 

Of course, Kyungsoo spat back. He might be quiet and reserved but it doesn’t mean he’ll just take every insult—especially homophobic insults—anyone gives him; even if it’s from his own father.

 

He doesn’t remember the words he has yelled at his father. What he remembers is his father’s hard palm against his left cheek, branding his pale skin like a hot iron. The slap was loud and it echoed inside the four walls of their dining room. His mother was hysterical, screaming profanities at her husband as she defended her youngest baby boy. On the other hand, Seungsoo was too stunned to say anything. His father’s action and his mother’s reaction had rendered the oldest Do’s son speechless. 

 

Despite always receiving harsh words and complaints from his father, Kyungsoo had never been hit until that night, different from his older brother who is used to have his cheeks succumb to a father’s slap. “ _This is probably the reason why you’re too soft, because I spoil you too much_.” His father’s words almost made him laugh. The man has never spoilt him. He doesn’t even remember his birthday.

 

Kyungsoo left the house immediately after the slap happened; foods on his plates were unfinished. There was no reason to stay, after all. There has never been. He ignored his mother’s calls as he rushed out to grab his bike.

 

He’s stopped by the security guards once he reaches the front gate of Jongin’s apartment. They ask for his name and who he’s going to see and in an instant, Jongin’s name falls out of his mouth with a chocked sob.

 

Hot tears once again accumulate in the corner of his eyes until they soon blur his vision and lick his pale cheeks. Two men in navy uniform are lost at what to do, obvious they have never dealt with a crying teenage boy before. Kyungsoo ignores their effort in cheering him up; one of them has looped his arm around his shaking torso, rubbing his soaked shoulder whilst the other guard makes a call. He doesn’t push the man away as he waits for Jongin to get him.

 

Less than ten minutes later Jongin arrives. He’s wearing knee-length pants, a muscle shirt, and a pair of flips flops. His right hand is holding an umbrella. In another circumstances Kyungsoo would’ve felt bad for causing the older man troubles, but his heart hurts and he needs Jongin to comfort him. A couple of weeks texting each other is enough for Jongin to be a constant figure in Kyungsoo’s life. A figure that’s strong but also kind at the same time—a figure he has been longing for.    

 

His hero.

 

“Are you alright? Are you hurt?” The older asks, pulling Kyungsoo towards him. The younger is too busy controlling his hiccups and sniffles to notice the icy glare Jongin shoots at the guard who has practically side-hugged him.

 

Kyungsoo willingly lets himself be scooped into Jongin’s embrace. Jongin’s body feels warm against his cold one. He wants so badly to nuzzle his face into the older’s neck, to burrow his nose and to fill his lungs with his scent.

 

To feel safe.  

 

“Hyung…” He whimpers, trembling fingers grasping at Jongin’s shirt.

 

“I’ve got you, Soo-ah.” Jongin mumbles against his temple as he rubs shooting circle on Kyungsoo’s nape. “I’ve got you.”

 

_You’ve got me._

 

“I’m here now. Don’t worry.”

 

_You’re here for me._

 

Even though his tears have dried and no longer cover his eyes, his vision is still blurry whilst his mind is fuzzy. The only clear thing is the sound of his shuddering breath whenever he exhales and inhales through his mouth since his nose is currently clogged by snot. He must’ve looked ugly, but that’s the least of his concern now.

 

Without him realizing, he’s left alone in the bathroom, warm bath has already been drawn. He peels off his soaked clothes and puts them inside the hamper near the sink, vaguely remembers the older man has told him to do so before he left. Bicycling during heavy rain has made his body feeling like ice. Without wasting any second he enters the bathtub to warm himself, right foot goes first. 

 

The water is hot but not burning. Its color is white milk and smells like lavender. Kyungsoo relaxes in the water, eyes closed. Slowly, his body slides deeper, little by little until not even the tip of his nose is visible on the water’s surface.

 

There’s no sound inside the water. The only thing he can hear is his own heartbeat that’s getting weaker each second, lulling him to slumber. Maybe he should stay a bit longer here, under the water, just for a little bit, only for a little bit until—

 

“Kyungsoo!” He’s suddenly got pulled out from the water. With a gasp he inhales the air greedily. He then realizes he’s stopped breathing for a while.

 

“What are you doing?” Jongin’s expression is stern. His brows are furrowed down and so are the corners of his lips. He looks upset. Kyungsoo doesn’t know why he’s upset. He doesn’t need Jongin to be upset at him, his own father already is.

 

He doesn’t want Jongin to be upset.

 

“I… I fell asleep.” He explains himself. He’s not sure if it’s a lie. Did he fall asleep? Or did he not? “I’m sorry.” He decides to apologize even though he doesn’t know if it’s needed—if Jongin needs one from him.

 

Relief washes over him when Jongin’s face softens. The older man has not yet let him go, hands still intact under his armpits. “Don’t be.” Jongin finally releases his grip. “You’ve bathed long enough.” He lifts Kyungsoo out of the tub like the boy barely weights anything.

 

Red fills Kyungsoo’s cheeks when Jongin dries him with a soft, warm towel. He lets the older man touches him despite feeling embarrassed of his own nudity. Though, Jongin’s eyes never leave his face and his hands never wander too far as he pats Kyungsoo’s damp skin with the soft cloth.

 

Kyungsoo is grateful for the gentlemanly act, but at the same time he can’t help but to feel disappointed.  

 

“There,” Jongin sounds satisfied with the result of his work—of his effort in taking care of Kyungsoo. “Now, do I have to dress you up as well?” He asks with a teasing smile when Kyungsoo doesn’t move, only stares at him with a dazed look.

 

“Y-you don’t have to. I can do it on my own.”

 

“If you say so, big boy.” Kyungsoo hears the flirty tone in Jongin’s words, but decides not to comment on it. He knows the pink tint on his cheeks is more than enough to be a response. The wide grin on Jongin’s face tells him so.

 

“I’ll wait outside.” The older sees himself out after giving Kyungsoo’s hair a ruffle.

 

And true to his words Jongin does wait outside the bathroom just as he’s promised. It surprises Kyungsoo a bit. He has expected the older to wait for him in the living room instead, not in the corridor with his back leaning against the wall next to the bathroom’s door. “I’m worried you’ll fall asleep in the tub again,” is his reason.

 

Jongin then guides him towards the kitchen. Kyungsoo thinks he might love the feeling of Jongin’s palm on his back. “I’m sorry the outfits are too big for you.”

 

“It’s okay, hyung. Thank you for lending me these.” Kyungsoo thanks him sincerely. The outfits Jongin has given to him are two or three sizes too big for him; the older’s white cotton shirt has made him show more skin than usual since it hangs loosely around his shoulders, whilst the older’s sweatpants are too long for his short legs, which forces him to roll them up so he won’t trip and kiss the floor.

 

“They look good on you.” Jongin compliments, eyes dragging lazily from Kyungsoo’s face down to his body. He’s shamelessly checking the younger out. “You look adorable, like a puppy.” He adds on and Kyungsoo’s cheeks set ablaze.

 

“I do not.” He defends himself, lips forming into a small pout.

 

Jongin is quiet for a while before he suddenly leans closer. Kyungsoo’s heart stops and so does his breathing.

 

“Absolutely the cutest,” Jongin whispers directly to his right ear. The older’s breath is warm and ticklish against his skin, sending shiver down to his spine.

 

Before he could protest, Jongin pushes him to sit down on the dining chair. The older man then takes a plastic bag on the kitchen counter and places it on the table. Kyungsoo does nothing but stares with wide eyes. “I remember you said you like fatty and oily foods, and fried chicken fits the criteria. Besides, everybody loves fried chicken.”

 

It catches him out of guard that Jongin remembers what he’s said during their texting session. He never considers himself to be important enough to be remembered, especially by a busy, working adult like Jongin. But for numerous numbers of times, Jongin has proven him wrong. The older remembers details about him—even the smallest ones—which means, he is important to him. He can’t help but to smile at that thought.

 

They chatter whilst they eat, Kyungsoo’s father is never part of the topics. Jongin doesn’t ask, probably waiting for the younger to be comfortable enough to talk about it, and for that Kyungsoo is thankful. Jongin has been very understanding and helpful towards him.

 

After they finish their meals, Kyungsoo insists to wash the dishes. He feels guilty for troubling the older man during night hours in such terrible weather. Jongin brushes him off, saying he’s not troubling him at all, before he lets Kyungsoo do it.

 

“I’ve called your house by the way.” Jongin is standing next to him. He can feel the older man’s eyes on him, on his face, examining every tick of muscles. Kyungsoo tries hard to keep his expression neutral.

 

“And?” Kyungsoo asks in the midst of clanking noise, porcelains against porcelains. “What did—“ he stops to take a breath, the previous event momentarily haunts him. Never in his life has he seen his father to be that mad, to the point he would lay his hand on him. “What did they say?”

 

“Your mom was the one who picked up the phone.” Jongin tells him. His voice is calm and steady. Maybe it’s because of the low timbre that’s mixed with a bit of huskiness, but Jongin’s voice reeks off confidence and maturity. “She told me everything.” His voice turns softer, kinder.

 

Kyungsoo braves himself to turn his head, to look at Jongin’s eyes directly, albeit shyly. He finds himself being drawn into them. “She scolded me first for not telling her sooner that I’m already back in town,” Jongin chuckles, his eyes never leave Kyungsoo’s. “I apologized, then I told her you’re here with me.”

 

“Oh.”

 

“She sounded relieved after I said that. She told me to take care of you.”

 

“Well, you currently are.” Kyungsoo breaks their eye contact and opts to stare at the dirty dishes instead. He feels like a child.

 

Jongin hums. “I am.” He has not ceased his staring. Kyungsoo swears the intensity of the older’s piercing gaze has multiplied. He could hear the blood rushing in his ears whilst his heart rate increases in speed.

 

“I—“ Kyungsoo gulps, adam apple visibly bobbing. “I don’t want to go home.” His voice is so small it’s almost drowned by the sound of the running tap water.

 

“Then you don’t have to. You can spend the night here.”

 

“Really?” Kyungsoo’s eyes widen at that. He looks like Jongin has promised him the world even though he only gives him permission to stay.

 

The older man chuckles at his reaction. His laugh is deep and familiar. It’s safe. Something Kyungsoo wouldn’t mind to hear every day. “Of course, you don’t think I’ll kick you out in the middle of stormy night, right?” Kyungsoo shakes his head a no, cheeks slightly pink. “Your mother already knows where you are—with me. I doubt she’ll be worried.”

 

“Thank you, hyung.”

 

“Like I’ve said, anything for you, Soo-ah.”

 

 

…

 

 

**_I'm not entirely here._ **

**_Half of me has disappeared._ **

 

 

Kyungsoo ends up sleeping in Jongin’s bed.

 

Alone—much to his disappointment.

 

The older man lets him uses his bed as there’s no other place is available to sleep on besides the sofa in front of the TV in the living room. Jongin insists to use the sofa. The bad event Kyungsoo experienced few hours prior has been the main factor of his coercing argument.  

 

It’s not because the older’s apartment is small. On the contrary, Jongin’s apartment is spacious enough with lavish interior that emphasizes its high price. It’s just the older man hasn’t yet finished tidying up, too busy and too lazy to do so. The extra bedroom that’s supposed to be filled with a single bed for guest is filled with boxes of books, papers and offices supplies instead.

 

Kyungsoo has tried to refuse. He doesn’t mind sleeping on the couch but Jongin apparently does in his behalf. Since he’s too tired to argue the older he lets himself being ordered by said man. After all, Jongin’s king size bed is very inviting, and without shame Kyungsoo throws his body on the soft bed.

 

The comforter, bed sheet and pillows, all of them are cream colored though in slightly different shades. They’re soft and thick and they smell like Jongin. Kyungsoo burrows his nose into the pillow and inhales the scent; it’s a mixture of men’s cologne and shampoo, and a bit of the older’s natural body odor. He imagines—wishes—it was Jongin’s body that was currently engulfing him; wishes it was Jongin’s limbs that were tangling around his mid-section, hugging him tightly, instead of a sheet of soft, stuffed cloth. 

 

The alarm clock on the night stand shows him how late it currently is; **00:35** is shown in blaring red, contrasting the pitch black darkness of Jongin’s bedroom. There’s no sound safe for the low buzzes of traffic below them. He has been surprised to find out when Jongin told him they’re at the 16th floor.

 

Knowing sleepiness won’t approach him soon, Kyungsoo makes up his mind. His body lies sideway, facing his right, as he slips his hand under his pants—Jongin’s. He starts with a feathery touch on his stomach, before his palm travels downward, passing his belly button first and eventually it settles above his soft prick.

 

Kyungsoo closes his eyes to see images of Jongin spark behind his eyelids, then he begins to squeeze softly, awakening his arousal.

 

It doesn’t take long for little whimpers to be torn out of his throat as he imagines Jongin’s hand touching him, teasing him, pleasing him. Jongin in his muscle tee, biceps bulging out, decorated with veins, as droplets of sweats lick down his tanned skin. Jongin’s hovering above him, with that smug smirk of his, kissing him softly, pinning him down on the bed, thrusting into him whilst moaning out the endearing nickname he’s given him. _“Soo-ah.”_  

 

He’s confident no one will hear him. It’s already late at night and there’s been no sign of the older is still awake. And so, he lets his little whimpers escalate to full blown moans. Series of stuttering sighs escape his mouth in unbroken chain.

 

Kyungsoo comes, soiling his own hand, with a long, drawn out, high pitched moan of _“Jongin”_ leaving his mouth. He wipes his own cum on his stomach, as there’s no other place to do it and he’s too lazy to clean himself in the bathroom. In few minutes he falls asleep, content and sated.

 

 

.

.

.

 

 

In the room next to him, Jongin is wide awake, fully aware of everything, of what the younger has done in his bedroom. Kyungsoo’s too loud for someone who’s pocket sized, and Jongin isn’t a deaf man.

 

 

.

.

.

 

 

Kyungsoo’s morning is started with a sight of Jongin standing behind the counter, preparing their breakfast. He’s still wearing the black muscle tee that Kyungsoo thinks might be his favorite clothes on Jongin. The fabric is thin and shows the shape of Jongin’s toned back perfectly.

 

Kyungsoo salivates and it’s not because of the sizzling food Jongin is currently stirring on the pan.

 

“Good morning.” Jongin greets cheerfully after he notices him. “Why don’t you take a seat there?” He points at the breakfast bar. “The food is almost ready.”

 

Kyungsoo does what he’s told to do.

 

“I’m not a good cook but I can guarantee you this is edible.” Is what Jongin says when he serves their breakfast; scrambled eggs and fried bacons.

 

“They look good, hyung.” Kyungsoo compliments. He’s not lying per se, the food does look good—it’s probably because he’s hungry. He’s startled when Jongin ruffles his hair, not used to the older man’s obsession with his hair. Though he’s not complaining because Jongin’s movement is gentle and full of affection, and Kyungsoo relishes each second of it.

 

“Then you better finish all of it.” Jongin flashes him a handsome grin that Kyungsoo considers better than overpriced Starbucks coffee to start his days.

 

The breakfast goes quieter than dinner. Kyungsoo is too nervous to say anything, feeling a bit guilty for what he’s done last night, whilst Jongin seems to enjoy watching him more than talking. Whenever Kyungsoo looks up from his plate, his eyes would meet Jongin’s and then the older man would smile.

 

But the smile on his face is different from his usual one. It’s borderline a smirk, taunting. _Smug._ Kyungsoo doesn’t know if he should feel annoyed or aroused.

 

“Ah,” Jongin exclaims suddenly, surprising Kyungsoo who’s busy with his own thoughts. “You’ve got something…” He reaches out, and Kyungsoo’s eyes widen.

 

“…here,” Jongin is touching his lips, and as if on instinct Kyungsoo opens his mouth, inviting the older to do something. Anything.

 

There’s a stricken look on Jongin’s face whilst his entire body freezes. He is either surprised with Kyungsoo’s action or his own, or maybe both. Either way, he doesn’t withdraw his fingers, nor does he twitch a muscle.  

 

Kyungsoo takes his lack of action as a cue to go further.

 

He begins to nibble around the tips of Jongin’s fingers, bite no sharper than a baby kitten’s. Jongin’s skin taste salty on his tongue but it doesn’t make him less delicious to Kyungsoo. Then, he traps Jongin’s hand with both of his palms. Momentarily he lets himself admires the difference of their skin tone.

 

He doesn’t know what he’s doing as it all acts out on instincts but he notices Jongin’s breath has turned ragged, and it gives him the confident that he’s currently doing the right thing. He bites again, this time scrapping his teeth on the calloused tips slightly, before engulfs them with his fat, red lips. He’s often complimented for his lips, by both males and females, and he takes pride in them.

 

“Hyung.” He sighs out, deliberately prolongs the syllable in a needy whine.

 

The word snaps Jongin back to reality. For a brief second, Kyungsoo sees it; the quick change of Jongin’s composure. The older man seems to have a battle with himself, it’s visible on his face even for only milliseconds.

 

Jongin retracts his hand like how Kyungsoo’s predicted, though his thumb lingers on the younger’s lower lip a second too long, printing burning trace. A smile is flashed towards Kyungsoo’s direction in an instant—a smile that’s more professional and reserved, creating a distance between them. It hurts Kyungsoo more than the slap he’s received from his father.

 

This time, when Kyungsoo looks up from his plate, Jongin’s eyes don’t meet his.

 

 

…

 

 

**_I keep on trying to let you go._ **

**_Dying to let you know._ **

****

****

Nothing has changed after that day. After they finished their breakfast, Jongin took Kyungsoo home before he went to work. His mother thanked Jongin like the man had just saved the entire city, even though all he did was giving her youngest son a temporary shelter, whilst his father only gave Jongin a curt nod. Though, it’s apparent that he’s proud of Jongin—of what he’s become—since the man who used to be under his care has turned to be a successful man. Kyungsoo doesn’t need to hear his father say a word for him to know that Jongin has earned his father’s approval

 

Strangely enough, Kyungsoo doesn’t feel jealous like he often feels whenever Seungsoo is being praised by his father. Perhaps it’s because he doesn’t see Jongin as competitor, since after all Jongin isn’t his brother. Not a Do’s son. Besides, his father has never compared him with the older man.

 

Perhaps it’s also because Jongin has told him that he’s good enough; during their weeks of communicating, Jongin has told him that—that he’s good enough as he is, that he doesn’t need to change. He doesn’t need to be louder even if others complain about how quiet he is, doesn’t need to work out if he hates it, if he hates sweating, if he hates limiting the amount of his junk food intake. He looks good just the way he is now, with soft belly and narrow shoulders.  

 

Jongin has told him that he doesn’t need to do something he doesn’t like just to satisfy other people.

 

On that day, when Jongin drove him home, he told him that he doesn’t need to be straight, that Kyungsoo doesn’t need to ‘change’ or deny his own sexual orientation just because his father disapproves it. It’s part of him—of his nature, and it can’t be change with a snap of two fingers. The older man has told him that he’s proud of him, proud of Kyungsoo who’s brave enough to embrace his sexuality openly.

 

Jongin is proud of him, and that alone is enough for him. Jongin’s approval matters more than his own father’s, more than anybody else’s in the world.   

 

In a sense, Jongin reminds Kyungsoo of a father figure—the kind he’s often imagined having. Strong and wise, someone who leads and protects, yet is also gentle and understanding, loving and caring. Someone who would be there for him, someone who would tell him that he always loves him, that he loves him the most.

 

Thinking of the word love makes Kyungsoo touches his lips. The phantom of Jongin’s fingers hasn’t left his skin; the sensation sizzles deliciously. It’s crazy how just a mere touch could be so unforgettable. It’s been a week and nothing’s changed. Jongin still replies to his texts (thank god for that, he though he has messed it up), accepts his lunch invitations, listens to him, be there for him when he needs him.

 

But all of those things are done without any boundary being crossed. Kyungsoo hopes Jongin would let him cross the goddamn line because the older man has been brushing off his efforts when he tries to do so. Whenever he tries to act flirty or seductive, Jongin would smile and pinch his cheeks; and calls them squishy whilst he’s at it.

 

It frustrates him, and breaks his heart as well. Jongin’s told him he’s good enough, but is he good enough to stay by his side?

 

Is he good enough for him?

 

To: **Jongin-hyung**  
_Am I good enough?_  
(sent 1.06 AM)

 

He supposes by now Jongin is already used to his random, vague and sudden late night text.

From: **Jongin-hyung**  
_?_  
_Of course, you are_  
_Why are you still awake? Don’t you have class tomorrow?_  
(received 1.06 AM)

 

To: **Jongin-hyung**  
_Then am I good enough for you?_  
_I do, but I miss you_  
(sent 1.07 AM)

From: **Jongin-hyung**  
_More than enough_  
_Go to sleep Soo-ah_  
(received 1.07 AM)

 

To: **Jongin-hyung**  
_I want to sleep in your bed_  
(sent 1.08 AM)

 

Jongin doesn’t reply.

 

 

…

 

 

**_I know how much it matters to you._ **

**_I know that you got daddy issues._ **

****

****

To no one’s surprise, the fight occurs again. It is not bad as the previous one, at least this time his father’s palm doesn’t land on his cheek. He must thank his mother for that he supposes, she must’ve had talked to the old man regarding the previous incident.

 

Kyungsoo knows his father loves his mother very much, and the man would never cross her even though it means he has to stop enforcing his beliefs about what real men are supposed to do and to be on his youngest son—on their youngest son. She still has half of saying in raising him. After all, she’s the one who carried him for nine months.

 

It’s not that Kyungsoo hasn’t tried to become the man his father wants him to be. In fact he has, for multiple times, but each try has never worked for him. He felt like he was betraying himself whenever he forced himself to fit in the ideal criteria his father has often preached.  

 

It’s exhausting, pretending to be someone who you’re not.

 

He just wants to be loved and to be respected as a person, as who he is.

 

He wishes his father would.

 

But he knows his father will not, at least not any time soon, and that’s exactly why he’s punching the ‘ _16’_ button on the elevator. He hums his favorite song under his breath as he waits. It’s an R &B song, sung by an American artist, and coincidentally one of Jongin’s favorite too.

 

It is one of the reasons why he thinks Jongin and him could make a good match; because they share quite a lot of things in common, even though they’re very much different from each other.

 

He huffs in annoyance when Jongin doesn’t open his door after three times ringing the doorbell. Jongin’s work ends at five and it’s almost seven past thirty. He should be at home by now.

 

Kyungsoo slides down against the wall and ends up sitting on the floor. The entire building looks like it receives high maintenance every day so the floor must not be that dirty.  

 

To: **Jongin-hyung**  
_Hyung where are you?_ ㅠㅠ  
(sent 6.28 PM)

 

Ten minutes pass and Jongin hasn’t replied, he hasn’t even read the message and Kyungsoo begins to wonder if coming here is a mistake. He curls up his body into a ball, knees bent with his arms circling around his shins, and then he waits.  

 

 

.

.

.

 

 

Kyungsoo wakes up to the feeling of someone’s slowly shaking his body. He blinks away the sleep for few times until his vision is filled with Jongin’s concerned face.  

 

“What are you doing here?” Jongin looks surprised as well, but his confusion doesn’t deter him from helping Kyungsoo standing up and pats away the imaginary dust on the younger’s bum.

 

“I texted you,” is Kyungsoo’s simple reply. Sleepiness hasn’t left his body entirely and his muscles ache for staying too long curling up.

 

“My phone died. I—I’m so sorry,” Jongin apologizes. “I went out to celebrate one of the guy’s promotion.” He explains sheepishly as he unlocks the door for both of them.

 

“It’s okay.” Kyungsoo yawns and follows Jongin inside, toeing off their shoes first. The older man switches on all of the lights with a remote.

 

“How long have you been waiting?”

 

“Since six thirty I guess.” Kyungsoo shrugs off his shoulders. He eyes the digital clock above small cabinet where Jongin places his keys and wallet inside a small bowl. It’s almost nine.

 

“Have you eaten yet?” Kyungsoo shakes his head. “Do your parents know you’re here?” Another headshake. Jongin sighs before he goes to the fridge and opens it. “There’s leftover of stir-fried pork, do you want it?”

 

Kyungsoo, who’s been standing behind Jongin with his hands wriggling together and his chin tilts downward, nods. He hasn’t eaten dinner yet and he is kind of hungry.

 

“I’ll heat it up, you better tell your mother that you’re here. She’ll be worried if you don’t.” Jongin orders and Kyungsoo can’t say no. He’s right after all, and he doesn’t want his mother to be worried.

 

Kyungsoo admits he can be a stubborn person if he wants to, and following anyone’s order isn’t really something he enjoys doing, which is why he and his father aren’t in good terms. But there’s something about Jongin that makes him want to do anything that’ll make him happy, make him proud of him.  He’d do anything that would please Jongin, whatever it is.    

 

He makes a brief phone call to his mother and he’s glad she understands that he needs some space after the fight. When she asks him if she’s going to spend the night at Jongin’s place he answers with a small _“maybe.”_ She doesn’t press the matter and tells Kyungsoo to not cause too much trouble instead.

 

“What did she say?” Jongin asks as he places the food on a clean plate. Kyungsoo walks toward the counter where rice cooker is located and scoops some warm rice into the bowl he’s taken from cabinet.

 

“She said she understood and it’s okay for me to stay at your place,” Kyungsoo then goes quiet for a moment before he continues. “I—I told her I might spend a night here.” He says in tiny voice, afraid of the older’s rejection.

 

“I don’t mind if you want to have a sleepover here.” Jongin assures with chin on his palm. He looks tired and worn out yet Kyungsoo can’t help but to think how handsome the older man is.

 

“I can sleep on the sofa.” Kyungsoo rushes out. It seems Jongin is adamant in keeping his second bedroom as storage room as the man has not yet finished tidying up.

 

“Nonsense.” Jongin puts the plate on the table before he sits down on the dining chair. He pats the seat next to him and Kyungsoo obediently sits there. “You can use my bed.”

 

“But—“

 

“It’s alright, Soo-ah.” The nickname rolls out Jongin’s mouth gently and Kyungsoo finds no strength to talk back. “I don’t mind.”

 

“The sofa doesn’t look comfortable,” Kyungsoo reasons with a pout on his face before he digs into his bowl.

 

He’s too busy munching down his foods to notice Jongin’s heated stare that’s aimed at his lips. If only he knows what his lips do to the older man’s sanity.

 

“Which is why you should take the bed.” Jongin rebuts when Kyungsoo’s eyes are back on his face. “Don’t think much about it.” He ruffles Kyungsoo’s hair and then gets up. “I’m gonna take a shower, finish your meal, alright?”

 

Kyungsoo continues his meal silently with red tinted cheeks. His chest tightens because really, Jongin is so considerate towards him. He’s always been.

 

 

.

.

.

 

 

After washing the dishes, Kyungsoo makes himself comfortable in the living room. He sits lazily on the sofa whilst checking on his social media feeds. Seeing nothing interesting he turns on the TV instead and settles with a variety cooking show.

 

He does a double take when he sees Jongin walking out of the bathroom in nothing but towel that hangs too low on his slim waist. Suddenly the variety show he’s been watching isn’t as interesting as it was few seconds ago.

 

“I’ve put some clean clothes in the bathroom,” Jongin informs, his hair is still damp and is slicked to the back. Such style suits him as it accentuates his cheekbones, making them more prominent. Though, what takes the cake is the older’s toned body. His biceps bulge out and Kyungsoo thinks he would need to use both of his hands to circle around each of them, whilst there are eight packs lined on his stomach. There are droplets of water still clinging on his tanned skin.

 

Kyungsoo can feel his mouth turns drier each second he spends to stare at the older.

 

“Oh. Um. Thank you, hyung.” Kyungsoo mutters out, eyes darting around in effort not to appear obviously thirsty. He tilts his head in confusion when Jongin is only staring at him with unreadable look on his face. “I’m gonna take a bath now.” He says as he gets up and then rushes past Jongin, but to his surprise the older grips his arm.

 

Kyungsoo’s mind goes haywire because there’s literally a half-naked, wet and freshly out of shower Jongin right in front of him, touching him. The older’s long fingers circle around his arm delicately like he’s made of glass and Kyungsoo wants to melt.

 

It’s been more than ten seconds—yes Kyungsoo is counting—and Jongin has not yet said anything. All he does is staring at his face with those sharp eyes that Kyungsoo thinks look a little darker than usual.

 

And maybe, maybe, just maybe, he’s imagining things but he swears Jongin has his eyes focused on his lips. Unconsciously, he sucks in his lower lip and again, maybe he’s imagining things but he feels Jongin’s grip on him tighten a bit.

 

“Don’t fall asleep in the tub again, okay?” Jongin warns him after the deafening silence.

 

“I won’t, hyung.” Kyungsoo promises with a weak nod.

 

Jongin doesn’t say anything afterwards. Kyungsoo sees no reason to linger around and decides to walk away before he says something stupid, Jongin’s fingers easily let him go.

 

And maybe, maybe, just maybe, he’s imagining things again but he can feel Jongin’s gaze on his back. It’s burning.

 

Maybe, just maybe, Jongin wants him too just like he wants him.

 

 

.

.

.

 

 

Kyungsoo chooses to take a cold shower instead of a warm bath. He wants to calm his nerves, and besides waiting for the bathtub to be filled would take a while, and Kyungsoo doesn’t want to spend too much time inside the bathroom. He doesn’t want Jongin to take a wrong idea.

 

As cold water falls upon him in little streams, he makes his decision.

 

 

.

.

.

 

 

Dressed in shirt two sizes bigger than his usual one and a loose pair of gray sweatpants, Kyungsoo approaches Jongin who’s currently reading on the sofa with glasses on. The older man has put on a black tee that hugs his torso nicely and knee length cargo pants that should’ve looked ugly but Jongin makes them look great instead.

 

It’s not until he sits next to Jongin does the older man look up from his book.

 

“Hyung,” Kyungsoo says after taking a huge breath. Jongin takes off his glasses and places them on coffee table alongside with the book he’s been reading.

 

“I like you.” He says, the words come out shaky so he repeats it again. “I like you. In romantic ways.” He adds because he doesn’t want Jongin to misunderstand.

 

Jongin closes his eyes and sighs deeply. “Soo-ah… You’re still young, you shouldn’t be having crush on an old man like me.”

 

“But you’re not that old,” Kyungsoo’s brows knit together. Jongin’s reason about age is a bit ridiculous, he thinks.

 

“There are twelve years between us.” Jongin explains slowly, as if he’s talking to a child. “I’m flattered that you like me but you can’t—you shouldn’t. Besides, your parents have entrusted me with you, I won’t take advantage of that—of you.”

 

“It’s too late to tell me that, I already like you.” The younger stubbornly says. “And isn’t that a good thing? My parents like you, they approve you already, especially my father. I think he’ll accept it more if I’m with you.”

 

Jongin laughs, and it should feel hurt to be laughed at, to be not taken seriously like you’re a child, to be rejected, but it doesn’t, because when Jongin laughs, his eyes crinkle into moon shapes and he looks so goddamn handsome in that black tee Kyungsoo would love to rip off. “If anything he’ll punch me square in the face.”

 

“Why?” Kyungsoo still doesn’t buy it. His father admires Jongin. Surely, he will approve the older man.

 

“Because most fathers wouldn’t trust any guy in their thirty to date their eighteen years old son,” he places his palm on Kyungsoo’s cheek and the younger instantly leans into his touch. Jongin is silent for a moment, eyes busy roaming on Kyungsoo’s face whilst his thumb rubs circles on the apple of Kyungsoo’s cheek. “Most fathers know what guys my age are thinking about when they’re with someone like you.”

 

One of Jongin’s thighs is touching his and he presses closer, wanting more to feel the older’s body heat. “And what is that?”

 

Jongin gives him a guilty smile. “There are many things I want to try with you, Soo-ah.” He confesses, voice low and thick, dripping like honey. His thumb hasn’t yet ceased its movement. “So many. But we can’t.”

 

“Why not?” Kyungsoo demands for answers like a child demands for sweets.

 

“Because like I’ve said before, you’re still young and I don’t want to take advantage of you—“

 

“You won’t.”

 

“You’re going to meet some new people in your life, and then you will realize one of those people is a much better choice than me. Someone who will deserve you more than I do.”

 

Kyungsoo pulls away from Jongin’s grasp, a deep frown marring his face. “But I haven’t met them, and even if I will, it doesn’t mean I’m going to ditch you for them.” His brows furrow down as he spits out the word. “And how do you know that someone will deserve me more than you do? Shouldn’t I be the one who decide on that?”

 

Jongin looks stunned for a split second before he regains his composure back. “Your father is my friend and he used to be my mentor, I can’t just—“

 

“Then we don’t have to tell him. It’s not like he’s accepted my sexuality anyway, so I’m pretty sure he would rather not hearing anything about my love life,” Kyungsoo ends his sentence with a roll of eyes. “If—If it’s needed,” he halts to wet his lips, unaware of Jongin’s eyes following the movement. “I’m willing to become your little secret. I won’t mind.”

 

He doesn’t know if he should be amused or worried with the stricken, wide-eyed look the older man sports on. It looks comical, unfitting the situation they’re currently in. “Don’t you ever say that again.” Jongin cups his face. “You worth too much to be someone’s secret.”

 

“I want to be yours—your secret, your whatever. Anything. As long I’m yours,” Kyungsoo rushes out. “I—I really like you, hyung. I know we’ve only talked to each other for a month and I’m practically just a child compared to you, but—“ He gulps. His face is burning hot and his vision is a bit blurry, whilst his lips wobble. His chest feels like it’s about to explode and his throat feels like it’s clogged up. Never in his life has he acted this desperate for someone, to the point he wants to cry.

 

“But I want you. And—and I know you want me too.”

 

“Kyungsoo,” Jongin warns lowly, voice akin to a growl. But Kyungsoo doesn’t relent. He doesn’t because Jongin doesn’t correct his words. He knows he is right.

 

He knows Jongin wants him too.

 

Ignoring Jongin’s warning, Kyungsoo moves closer and closer, until he has the older man caged between his body and the armrest. He places his palm above Jongin’s thigh and feels it tenses under his touch. Jongin doesn’t stop him, only watching every move he makes with calculating eyes, and he takes that as a permission to go further; he climbs into Jongin’s laps, straddling the older man.

 

Both of his palms secure themselves on the older’s broad shoulders. Jongin’s hasn’t moved an inch but Kyungsoo feels the older’s breath has gone erratic, and he’s sure if he places his palm above Jongin’s heart he would feel how fast the organ beats for him.

 

Instead, he tightens his grips on Jongin’s shoulder and as if on instinct, the older returns the skin contact by holding his hips. The large palms rest hotly against his clothed skin.

 

“I—“ He shakily begins, eyes locked with Jongin’s hooded ones. “I can be good for you.” He ends his sentence by gnawing at his own lower lip and for a second he sees Jongin’s eyes dart down before they’re back to lock gaze with his glassy, doe ones. “Can be so good for you… I’ll make you proud.”

 

Jongin’s grip on his hips tightens, a simple act that encourages him to do more. Kyungsoo leans forward and pecks Jongin on the cheek. The contact is brief but it is enough to turn his face hot and scarlet, and it is more than enough to provoke Jongin.

 

“Soo-ah,” the older grits out. It is apparent on his face that he’s holding back. Kyungsoo doesn’t want Jongin to hold back.

 

“Please,” he begs as he runs his palms across Jongin’s clavicle. The bones jut out perfectly, and Kyungsoo’s eyes lit when he sees Jongin’s adam apple bobs. His palms go lower until they are against the older’s hard pectoral, and eventually resting right on the older’s clothed abs. The muscles contract under his palms. “Make me yours, hyung.”

 

He yelps when Jongin turns their position. Before he can say anything, the older man smashes their lips together.

 

The kiss is different from what he has pictured. It is far from gentle and sweet, far from the way Jongin usually treats him. The older is practically ravishing his mouth. His lips are tugged, bitten and then licked.

 

“Hyun—“ Jongin cuts him by inserting his tongue and swallowing his words greedily. Kyungsoo, who’s lacked experience, lets Jongin leads the kiss. It is after few more nibbles that Jongin finally pulls away.

 

But instead of stopping and giving the younger the opportunity to catch his breath, Jongin assaults Kyungsoo’s neck, planting blooming love bites on the younger soft, pale skin. “You should learn to control your mouth,” he punctuates with a particular hard bite that has the younger cry out. “Don’t say things you don’t mean.”

 

“N-no.” Kyungsoo gasps. “I meant every word.” He tugs Jongin’s hair when the older doesn’t pay attention to his words, too busy nipping around his jaw. “I want to be yours.” Jongin pulls away after those lines are said.

 

The older man has both of his arms on each side of Kyungsoo’s head, trapping him, whilst his body rests on top of Kyungsoo’s comfortably as he doesn’t press all of his weight on Kyungsoo. His pupils are blown and lips busted. Kyungsoo thinks he too, must have sported the same look.  

 

Again, Jongin doesn’t say anything, only staring down at him with hooded eyes. Kyungsoo continues; “Make me yours, hyung. Please. Take me.”

 

His eyes flutter shut when Jongin dips his head and kisses him again, gentler this time. A bit hesitant, Kyungsoo loops his arms around Jongin’s neck. His fingers tangle in Jongin’s hair, tugging it slightly which tears out a deep rumble from the older.

 

“We shouldn’t be doing this.” Jongin says breathlessly after their lips part. “ _I_ shouldn’t be doing this to you.” His action contradicts his words as he begins to nip around Kyungsoo’s jaw and neck once again.

 

Kyungsoo lets out shuddery breath as his fingers tighten around a lock of dark brown strands. Heat begins to pool in his stomach and unconsciously he cants his hips upward, whimpering when his crotch rubs against the older’s. The friction is maddening and delicious.

 

Jongin doesn’t stop him, doesn’t stop what he’s currently doing either. Instead, he keeps on marking Kyungsoo with love bites whilst he reciprocates the younger’s action by grinding down his hips.

 

“Do you—“ Jongin voices out, lips still glued on Kyungsoo’s wet, bruised skin. “Do you really want me to—?” He gives one last lick before he pulls away and Kyungsoo unhooks his arms to give the older some space.

 

The question is left hanging in the air and Kyungsoo doesn’t bother to answer nor continue it. He relishes in the feeling of Jongin’s palm caressing his cheek instead. Those long, tanned, calloused fingers run tenderly against his cheek, betraying the intense gaze the older aims at his face.

 

But Jongin doesn’t do anything further as all he does is staring and touching Kyungsoo’s cheek, and it is not enough. Hoping to push the older to do more, Kyungsoo takes Jongin’s hand and moves it toward his lips. Without breaking eye contact, Kyungsoo gives the palm a kittenish lick. He can feel Jongin’s body jolts slightly.

 

“Want you, hyung.” He says against Jongin’s calloused skin. “Want you to take me.” He punctuates his words with a soft nibble on the juncture of Jongin’s thumb and forefinger. “Now. Please.”

 

“Fuck.” Jongin curses, voice low. He gets up and Kyungsoo follows. Worry is written on Kyungsoo’s face momentarily, afraid that Jongin is rejecting him. But it soon gets replaced with a surprised look when Jongin offers his hand to him.

 

Kyungsoo takes it and lets the older drags him towards the bedroom.

 

 

…

 

 

**_Take you like a drug._ **

**_I taste you on my tongue._ **

 

 

“Are you sure you want this?”

 

They’re sitting on top of Jongin’s bed, facing each other. The older man cups his jaw delicately, rubbing soothing circles on soft skin with his thumb. Kyungsoo’s heart beats against his ribcage in tempo that’s faster than usual whilst his palms are sweaty. He’s nervous, that’s for sure. But he’s also sure he wants this. He wants Jongin. So he nods.

 

“Yes. I want you, hyung.” Kyungsoo adds since Jongin seems to expect a verbal consent from him.

 

“Okay.” Jongin amends in small voice, and then flashes him a gentle smile. He looks like he’s glad for having Kyungsoo here, so willing and eager in his bed. “Let’s take this off first, yeah?”

 

Kyungsoo nods again, giving Jongin the permission to undress him.

 

The older peels off the baggy shirt with no difficulty as Kyungsoo puts no restrain. He shies away when he has nothing covering his torso. Even though he’s the one who asks for this, he’s still insecure about his naked body. He doesn’t have hard, defined muscles like Jongin does, especially on his tummy as his body leans a bit toward the chubbier side.

 

But of course, Jongin won’t have any of that. “Let me see you.” He asks gently, though there’s firm order in his words that Kyungsoo has no power to deny.

 

Reluctantly, Kyungsoo shows himself. He gasps when Jongin runs his fingers on his pectoral, down to his belly button. When rough palm slides across his nipple, a pleasant jolt hits his nerves, causing his fingers to twitch in his stiff lap. He sees Jongin’s gulping before the older instructs him to move to the center of the bed and lie down.

 

His breath has turned erratic at this point, chest moving up and down as the older hovers above him, and then plants a loving kiss on his forehead.

 

“I’m going to take a good care of you.” Jongin promises before he pecks Kyungsoo’s nose, right cheek and then lips, causing Kyungsoo to smile shakily in return. His mouth trails downward until it ends on the column of Kyungsoo’s neck. “Will spoil you rotten.” He punctuates with a soft bite that earns him a gasp from the younger. “My pretty boy.”

 

“Hyung,”Kyungsoo lets out a needy whine which Jongin ignores. The older keeps on peppering his chest with light kisses that has him squirms impatiently against the crumpled duvet.

 

 _“Ah.”_ His lashes flutter shut whilst his back arches from the bed when Jongin clamps his lips around one of his nipples, nibbling it softly before sucking. “Jongin-hyung.” Kyungsoo moans out. The said man doesn’t stop tasting Kyungsoo’s skin eagerly.

Eventually, Jongin releases him and continues exploring his body with his mouth. His lips and tongue leave wet and warm trail on Kyungsoo’s pale skin. When his nose is finally brushing against his navel, Jongin pulls back.

 

Kyungsoo pants with fingers clutching the pillow beneath his head. His grip tightens when Jongin places large palms around his hips, ready to pull down the sweatpants that haven’t done a great job in concealing his arousal.

 

“May I?” Jongin asks for permission and Kyungsoo gives one with a nod and flushed cheeks. The older assures him with a kind smile that manages to reduce Kyungsoo’s nervousness a bit.

 

Kyungsoo then lifts his hips to ease up the process and Jongin wastes no time undressing him, pulling everything down—the sweatpants and his tight, black boxers—at once. There’s an appreciative look on Jongin’s features as his eyes rake down Kyungsoo’s full nudity and hard arousal.

 

Embarrassed for having his intimate part being stared at, Kyungsoo tries to close his legs. His effort is proven to be futile when Jongin immediately moves closer to be right in the middle of his spread out thighs.

 

The older man hooks his palms under his knees to open his legs wider. Kyungsoo can do nothing but complies pliantly despite his embarrassment.  

 

As he stares at the older, he realizes long gone has the sweet, gentle, ‘big brother’ Jongin. The man who’s in between his parting thighs is far more domineering and intimidating with lust pooling in his hooded eyes.

 

Kyungsoo doesn’t know if it’s possible, but Jongin looks physically bigger as well—not that the man has a small built to begin with.

 

He’s six foot tall with legs miles away, shoulders wide and biceps bulky, pecs defined and so are his eight packs. It’s not surprising, really, Jongin, despite being busy, always makes the time to hit the gym. The protein powder he stashes in the cabinet next to sugar and tea also contributes to his current body shape.

 

He looks starving and ready to gobble up everything the younger is willing to offer. And like hell if Kyungsoo isn’t going to offer everything to him.

 

Call him foolish or naïve for taking things too fast, for giving his body to an older gentleman in the span of one month after their accidental reunion, but Kyungsoo knows what he wants.

 

He wants to be loved by the man who’s been nothing but caring and doting towards him for the past weeks. The man who’s been giving him the things he wants; the validation, sweet compliments that are followed by sweeter treatments, and safety—the things he’s been craving for yet denied by his own father, as the man is too busy with his work and too caught up with his own definition of idealism.

 

Kyungsoo wants to be the main object of Jongin’s affection no matter at what cost. He wants it, he wants him so bad.

 

So, he spreads his legs wider until they reach their limits. A jolt of arousal shoots through his body when he notices Jongin’s licking his lips, eyes dark and pupils blown. Kyungsoo pushes aside his shyness as he decides to give the older man a little show, intention clear to egg him on.

 

Small hand travels downward, slow and hesitant, underlining his innocence that’s about to be tarnished. When it reaches his stiffness, he teases himself by tapping the head gently with his forefinger. Precum leaks out from his slit in small dribbles and he uses it as makeshift lube to pump himself.

 

Jongin has not yet moved from his spot as his eyes are still glued to small hand around pink, stiff cock. Kyungsoo takes his lack of response as a challenge to appear lewder. He fastens his pace and moans _‘hyung’_ s out loud occasionally in between small gasps, purposely dragging the syllable in needier tone. 

 

A subtle smirk curls around the edge of his lips when Jongin finally glides his palms against his skin, down towards the underside of his full thighs. His breath hitches when Jongin’s head dip down to plant sweet kisses on his skin. The stubble on the older’s chin is ticklish and Kyungsoo squirms.

 

Jongin’s mouth goes down, down and down, tongue occasionally juts out to leave wet trail on Kyungsoo’s skin. He sucks and nibbles on the pale canvas, marking Kyungsoo’s smooth thighs as his. When the tip his nose is about to touch Kyungsoo’s sacks, the latter stops him by clutching weakly on his hair.

 

“Hyung, your clothes—take them off.”  Kyungsoo commands but his voice makes his order to sound more like a plead. “Want to see you.” He whines, hand comes to a halt and the grip on his cock loosens.

 

Jongin chuckles and calls him adorable before complies with his request. The older man tugs off his shirt, showing off his toned body and making Kyungsoo bites back a whimper. The muscles look even better when they’re not covered by anything.

 

Kyungsoo’s eyes turn lidded when the older man starts to pull down his pants. Similar to his upper torso, his lower limbs are also toned, muscles rippling nicely when he moves around. He notices the older has quite a lot of body hair on his legs and thighs, emphasizing his macho looks.

 

Now, Kyungsoo isn’t a straight A’s student, but he still remembers basic biology from high school. He remembers testosterone increases hair growth in specific areas of human bodies. The fact that Jongin legs are covered by body hair means the older has dozen amounts of testosterone—the primary male sex hormone—in his system.

 

Kyungsoo wants to chide himself for being such a nerd in times like this, when he’s about to get the first of so many dicking’s in his life. Though, he can’t deny that the simple conclusion he has made in his mind turns him on.  

 

Moreover, he loves how physically different they are. The older is tall, big, bulky and hairy in particular areas whilst he’s short, tiny, soft and smooth all over. It is something he was born with, an anomaly among men in general. Many of his female classmates have expressed their jealousy towards his naturally hairless legs.

 

He can’t do nothing but take their jealousy as compliments. He knows his legs are pretty which is why he shows them off to the world quite often especially during summer. Shorts have always been a must for his outfits of the day—or night—whenever he’s out with his friends.   

 

Jongin then climbs back to his previous position in between Kyungsoo’s thighs. The younger is a bit disappointed that Jongin didn’t take off his navy colored briefs, but his disappointment doesn’t last long when he spots the bulge underneath the fabric that’s still covering the older’s crotch.

 

It’s big, it’s prominent, it’s something Kyungsoo has expected from the older man. Jongin owns a pair of long legs and lengthy fingers, so it doesn’t surprise him the older also owns something with the same quality down there.  Though, it does worry him as he has never been penetrated by anyone before and he’s not sure if _that_ could fit inside him.

 

His bubble of thoughts pops when Jongin’s lips find their place on his stomach. “God, look at you, all soft and pretty.” Jongin compliments, lips moving against small patch of pale skin before lapping it with his tongue.

 

Kyungsoo pants as Jongin worships his pliant body with his mouth. The older’s lips travel upward until they rest on the conjuncture of Kyungsoo’s neck, leaving gentle kisses on top of pink blotches he’s created several minutes ago.

 

His body jolts up when Jongin suddenly cups his balls, fondling them with his nimble fingers. Said fingers then circle around his prick, giving it gentle squeeze that has Kyungsoo keening for more. Jongin doesn’t give what he’s begging for, instead he lets go of the younger’s arousal and slides his fingers lower and lower until they skitter around Kyungsoo’s hairless asshole.

 

“Have you ever fingered yourself before?” He asks in between nibbles and Kyungsoo inhales sharply first before answering it with a shaky; “yes, hyung”.

 

Before he even realized he’s not into females at all, Kyungsoo has been fingering himself to get off. Prostate orgasm feels far more pleasurable and satisfying to him.

 

“Alright then.” Jongin nods, face looking resolute. He gets up but doesn’t go very far as he only needs to roll over to the side to reach the night stand on the right side of the bed. A bottle of lube then gets retrieved from the second drawer. Kyungsoo notes it’s still full, indicating its rare usage.

 

“I’m going to prepare you now,” he announces as he pours a liberal amount of translucent liquid into his palms and then coat his fingers with it. The lubed tips skitter around Kyungsoo’s puckered entrance, lathering it with silky fluid. Without warning he pushes his middle finger in slowly, making Kyungsoo gasps. “Open you up nicely so you can take all of me.”

 

Kyungsoo whimpers meekly at the words, anticipating what the older will give to him.

 

It doesn’t take a long time for one finger to turn into two and eventually three. Those long and thick fingers are scissoring his walls and pressing against his prostate. In the midst of it, Jongin dips his head down and engulfs the younger’s cock with his thick lips. Kyungsoo closes his eyes and lets the pleasure of being pampered takes over his entire body. He will never say it out loud that he absolutely loves it when Jongin pampers him.

 

Soft little mewls escape his red bitten lips as his parted legs twitch on each side of Jongin’s head. His fingers twist the pillow sheet in his hold, knuckles white from the force he uses. Such reaction spurs the older man to do more; to fasten the pace of his hand and to suck harder, to make Kyungsoo cry louder.

 

“ _Oh._ Hyu—hyung. _Please._ I’m—I’m gonna—“ Jongin withdraws his hands and mouth the second the warning is said and Kyungsoo lets out a frustrated whine that goes straight to the older’s erection.

 

Jongin pacifies Kyungsoo by giving him a small peck on his pouty lips once, twice, thrice. After the forth kiss he places his lips on Kyungsoo’s forehead and then climbs off the bed. Kyungsoo watches with lidded eyes as Jongin takes off his brief.

 

His hole clenches in anticipation when he sees the proud shaft that’s standing between Jongin’s legs.

 

It’s long, thick and dark colored, with tip flares up in angry red. The veins are prominent and Kyungsoo fights the urge to lick them. It feels good against his skin too; mushroom head touches the back of his thighs when the older is back in between his legs.

 

Kyungsoo watches tentatively, heart pounding rapidly, when Jongin pours the lube into his palm and then smear it on his cock. The older man shoots him a gentle smile and places a kiss upon his scarred knee before lining up himself against Kyungsoo’s prepared hole. 

 

“You sure you want this?” Jongin asks as if the tip of his hard rock cock isn’t sliding into Kyungsoo’s wet entrance. The latter decides to humor him by taking a hold on his own thighs and spread him legs wider as invitation.

 

“Yes, Jonginnie-hyung. I want your cock inside. Please give me. Please.” He begs shamelessly, purposely using a tone that makes him sound like a spoiled brat. He knows the older adores him, loves the childish side of him.

 

“Your mouth and the things you say with it.” Jongin grunts as he pushes his shaft slowly, eyes never leaving their connected parts. He licks his lips before he thrust forward gently until he’s buried all to the hilt. “God, Soo-ah, you’re so tight. So fucking tight.”

 

He buries his face in the crook of Kyungsoo’s neck, licking up the younger’s perspiration, as he waits for Kyungsoo to adjust with stilled hips. He knows his size can be difficult to take especially by someone who’s never been penetrated before.

 

“Hyung.” Kyungsoo whimpers out, his hips wiggle because of the sensation Jongin’s currently giving him with his cock and tongue. It’s too much, too good for his little body even though they barely start. He tangles his fingers on the older’s brown locks, urging the man to attack his neck more. “Move, hyung. Please. Please, give it to me.” He pleads brokenly.

 

Jongin growls as he pulls out until only his head is in, and then slams forward. He repeats the motion in slow yet strong pace, punching out strings of needy moans from Kyungsoo’s lungs as his long shaft massages the latter’s walls. “You drive me insane, do you know that?” He says in between heavy pants, teeth scraping against wet pale skin. “If you weren’t Minjoon’s son I would’ve fucked you on the day we met.”

 

With their bodies press together, Kyungsoo finds relief not only from Jongin’s cock assaulting his insides but also from the feeling of the hard ridges of Jongin’s abs against his leaking cock. His body tremors when Jongin shifts the angle of his thrust, making his tip directly nails the younger’s prostate.

 

Kyungsoo cries louder, his sobs can be heard from far and wide. Both of his hands slide down to Jongin’s sweaty back, feeling the muscles ripple against his palms. His blunt fingernails dig into the golden skin at particular hard thrust. “More, please more.” He has the audacity to ask and Jongin won’t even think to deny him.

 

The older man swivel his hips expertly, his hips thrusts into Kyungsoo’s tight heat in faster tempo. Loud, squelching sounds fill the room, though Kyungsoo moans drown them in. Jongin relishes the sounds Kyungsoo is making, the sounds their bodies are making. They fuel him to brand Kyungsoo’s throat with fresh love bites that will take days to disappear.

 

“This is what you want, right baby?” He asks without slowing down, balls slapping heavily against Kyungsoo’s wet ass cheeks. “You want to be mine, right? Tell me that you’re mine.” His mouth unlatches itself from slender neck before it lands on the corner of Kyungsoo’s lips, making the owner flutters his eyes open.

 

Kyungsoo’s lashes clump together by tears and his cheeks are flushed red, and Jongin can’t help but to smile at the sight. He pecks Kyungsoo’s right cheek before he caresses it with his forefinger. “Tell me, sweetheart. I want to hear it.”  

 

His voice is soft and tender, full of unspoken adoration. Kyungsoo chokes back a sob when he says, “I’m yours, hyung. Yours,” because despite the loving look the older is currently giving him, the pace of his hips isn’t decreasing. It’s too much for Kyungsoo’s heart and body to take, and with a stuttered warning he comes, dirtying his and Jongin’s abdomen with his cum.

 

Jongin groans at the maddening tightness Kyungsoo provides him. The younger’s walls clench around his shaft deliciously he has to stop moving to prevent himself from coming as well. “Yeah baby, let it all out. God, you’re so beautiful.” He says raggedly against Kyungsoo’s lips.

 

“You too—“ Kyungsoo huffs out with flushed cheeks after his cock has stopped twitching out cum. “You come too. Inside me.” He commands imperiously, ass pushing back towards Jongin like he’s insatiable and still needs more.

 

It only takes three thrusts after the request for Jongin to come inside Kyungsoo, painting the younger’s walls in white, filling him up with his scorching seeds to the brim. Kyungsoo whimpers at the feeling of it.

 

Jongin grants his lips a loving peck before he pulls out and leaves the bed to retrieve a wet towel. Kyungsoo’s hole clenches to prevent Jongin’s cum from leaking out to the bed as he waits. After cleaning up, the older man redresses them, though the job is done halfheartedly as he only puts a pair of clean boxers on himself and his baggy shirt on Kyungsoo. The younger is adamant not wearing any pants. 

 

He pulls the duvet on top of their spent bodies and snuggles Kyungsoo in his embrace. The light is already turned off whilst the air con is on to disperse the heat that’s been accumulating in the air post their activity.  

 

“Hyung.” Kyungsoo begins with raspy voice. His head is rested on Jongin’s muscled arm as his fingers draw abstract patterns on the man’s chest. “Since I’m yours… You’re mine too, right?” He can’t help but to ask as insecurity is still embedded inside him. Everything feels like a dream and if that’s the case he hopes he won’t ever have to wake up.

 

Jongin cups Kyungsoo’s jaw and tilts his head so their eyes meet. “Of course I am, sweetheart.” Pretty pink stains Kyungsoo’s cheeks. He loves it when the older calls him that.

 

“I’m yours and you’re mine.” Jongin seals the sweet declaration with a much sweeter kiss. Kyungsoo thinks nothing could get any better than this as he smiles against the kiss.

 

 

…

 

 

**_You know what your mama went through._ **

**_You gotta let it out soon, just let it out._ **

 

 

Just like before, Jongin drives Kyungsoo home before he goes to work. His left hand is pressed softly against Kyungsoo’s back, near the swell of his rear. Kyungsoo is limping when they walk to the door, face grimacing. Jongin feels guilty but before he can utter any apology the door is opened by none other but Mr. Do himself.

 

In an instant Jongin’s hand retreats from Kyungsoo’s back and settles on his left side stiffly. Kyungsoo would have snorted in amusement if it’s not for the fact that he’s still angry at his father. He walks past the man without greeting and leaves Jongin alone to have a little chat with his father.

 

He hears his father apologizing for his bratty attitude and Jongin counters it with; _“there’s nothing to apologize for because Kyungsoo is very well-mannered.”_ A triumphant smile makes its way to his plump lips because there’s nothing more satisfying than someone disagreeing with his father. He fishes out his phone and texts Jongin a thank you message for defending him.

 

He’s too engrossed in staring at his phone to notice his mother has emerged from the kitchen.

 

“Oh, you’re home already.” Dark shade decorates the underside of her eyes and Kyungsoo knows she must’ve been very worried about him.

 

The last time when Kyungsoo got slapped her complexion had been worse. He supposes it was because she got into fight with his father after he ran away from home. She is the only person who supports Kyungsoo about his sexuality. Seungsoo on the other hand is still in gray area about it. Years being fed with ‘real men’ talks make it hard for the eldest son to wrap his mind around the issue, but his mother has promised him Seungsoo will come around and support him eventually, and he believes her.

 

“Tell Jongin to come for dinner tonight. He has helped us a lot. Don’t forget to be grateful.” She bops his nose. There’s a tired smile on her face. People always say how similar they are to each other as he inherits her eyes and lips, and also her round face and small frame. Kyungsoo wishes he weren’t a burden to her, but circumstances say otherwise. Yet here she is standing by his side and gives him a loving treatment. He feels very lucky to have her as mother.

 

“I will text him.” Kyungsoo yawns. “I’m gonna take a quick nap.” He has afternoon class today, so there’s still time to sleep.  

 

He misses the way her eyes dart to his neck that’s littered with blooming purples. Both of him and Jongin have been in rush this morning since they woke up quite late and the older needs to be on time for his morning meeting. Kyungsoo’s still a bit delirious and with the want to get into bed occupying his mind he completely forgets about the fact there are hickeys on his neck.

 

“Kyungsoo-yah?” His mother calls out. Kyungsoo, who only has taken three steps away from her, halts and turns around, gives her a sleepy; “Yes?”

 

His mother stares at him for a good five seconds, her eyes are slightly wider than usual whilst her mouth is agape. Before Kyungsoo could ask what’s wrong, a small smile morphs into her face. “Nothing. After you wake up, helps me ironing the laundry, okay?”

 

Kyungsoo mutters an okay and then walks away slowly. His legs still feel like noodle whilst his rear is sore. He hopes his mother won’t notice that he walks funny as he limps towards his bedroom.  

 

She does.

 

 

_fin_

**Author's Note:**

> If you manage to reach this far, congratulation and thank you so much! I’m not sure if this is good enough (I’m actually not sure if people gonna read this) but I really hope you guys like it. I’m sorry for every mistake/grammar error since I’m not a native English speaker, but I swear I have tried my best. 
> 
> //Tidbits//
> 
> * “…someone who would tell him that he always loves him, that he loves him the most.” Is (obviously) taken from the infamous message Jongin wrote for Kyungsoo; 
> 
> ((“D.O hyung, you are busy prepare for the performance and acting that you must be tired but I think it is amazing that you always spend time with the members and do your best. I always love you, hyung. You know I love you the most, right?”)) 
> 
> * “Kyungsoo cries louder, his sobs can be heard from far and wide.” Is taken from the lyrics of one of Jongin’s favorite songs; Daniel Caesar – Get You (he recommended it to a fan during The War fansign fyi!) 
> 
> ((The original verse: “And when we're making love, your cries they can be heard from far and wide. It's only the two of us. Everything I need's between those thighs. Every time I look into your eyes I see it. You're all I need. Every time I get a bit inside I feel it.”))
> 
> * The testosterone part is uhhhhhhhhh blame Jongin’s hairy legs lmao (and blame those people who posted pictures of it on twitter and tumblr). Speaking about legs, Kyungsoo has smooth, hairless legs and a scar on his knee (again, blame those people who posted pictures of it on twitter and tumblr), hence I wrote it like that. I prefer to write my story based on real life descriptions (of their physique/bodies). It bothers me when the description doesn't match...lol.
> 
> * The original lyrics (Daddy Issues) use “little girl” (for most parts) but I changed it into "little boy" to fit the story. 
> 
> * add/edit: there are others real life references but I feel silly to list all of them here lol. Hope you guys can recognize each of them.  
>  
> 
> Kudos and comments are always appreciated! x


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